Purchased
Fortune Cookie Soap's Winter 2014 Soap Box
“Old Fashioned Family Christmas”
The Holiday Season has begun! With so many companies releasing their holiday fare, it's time to review it! So, I'm starting with Fortune Cookie's Winter Soap Box. Based on the ridiculously well known National Lampoon's Christmas Vacation, each scent is named after a themed moment from the film. I'm sure most of you are at least marginally familiar with this family cult classic. Some of you might be more in my vein, though, and have seen this movie and A Christmas Story every year at least once since you were old enough to understand you shouldn't repeat some words they say. Goodness knows, almost every product title had me shaking my head in disbelief or repeating the scenes in which these played out. So, let's just slide off the roof and light up this review so bright the neighbors keeping turning it off!
All of these products are new and will be released on November 21st.
Disclaimer: I pretty much hate the smell of vanilla. Like HATE, abhor, find it deplorable. So you'll find peppered through here thoughts from The Husband, who claims to be more objective than I when it comes to vanilla. I'll let you make your own decisions on objectivity.
“Moose Mug” Cuticle Butter
“Can I refill your egg nog…?”
Ahhhhh those relatives everyone loves to hate and wishes would just maybe haul out a little sooner than they ever do. This cuticle butter is devoted to you! Notes of cream, egg, and just a little nutmeg – the perfect eggnog recipe. I could smell spice, vanilla, and a hint of something that smelled a little like plastic? The Husband said this smelled “like a cheap vanilla perfume.”
On its usability, it does take a fair amount of time to soak in. You can see in the photo the little bit I scraped out and was able to cover all cuticle beds and almost the whole nail with a touch leftover. This is definitely a lasting product. It took about an hour for it all to absorb, and I spent that time waving them around and trying not to get the butter all over my computer keyboard.
“Mele Kelekimaka” OCD Hand Sanitizer
With visions of swimming pools dancing in your head
This was always a weird scene in the movie to me. The random Hawaiian woman diving into his make-believe backyard pool always struck me as odd. And the smell associated with this hand sanitizer was equally confounding! The leaflet says it uses tropical spiced rum, Tahitian vanilla, sprinkled with jasmine petals and twisted woods. When it first began to dry on my hands, I would say I could smell coconut. There was definitely a rum smell, but otherwise, I would term this as “muddled tropical something.” Not quite woody, not quite vanilla, definitely island-y, but otherwise unidentifiable. When I thrust my hands at The Husband to smell, he just looked at me, stared, puzzled at me for awhile before shrugging and turning away.
“Tis the Season to be Mary” Fortune Cookie Soap
Buy this for your wife…God rest her soul.
I honestly can't remember this scene very clearly, so I'm sorry but no witty remark. My soap from the last Soap Box was not quite dried out, so after a couple of uses, it folded in on itself and is now a lump of soap. This one felt much drier. Maybe they weren't quite so rushed. There is a bit of shimmer in this cherry red soap, but does not cover your hands like last month's soap. It smelled simultaneously clean and a bit grungy. There was not really a sweet smell from the almond, but there was almost a “dirty” smell from the tobacco. Overall, it seemed almost neutral in design. The Husband just called it “clean.”
“Sparky” Hydrate Me
We dedicate this to the FCS Family Christmas, drumroll please!
Really my favorite scene from the movie – watching the families duel over the truly epic display of Christmas light vs. the poor couple next door that would love to sleep without their bedroom being lit up like the 4th of July. This was supposed to smell like vanilla pumpkin waffles, brown sugar, pecan, and whipped cream. To me, it just smelled like waffles. The Husband said it smelled like intentionally burnt vanilla or sugar, which he adamantly does not like.
Hydrate Me is to FCS as Shower Smoothie is to LUSH. Used after soaping and rinsing, you rub it all over, let it sit on your skin for awhile then rise it off. It has enough moisture that you don't need to lotion after a shower if you're in a rush. (Honestly, who still lotions every time they get out of the shower? I'm lucky if I remembered to lotion my legs after I shaved them.) For the sake of visual in the picture, I rubbed in more than necessary so you could see it on my skin. Luckily the iridescence of the bulb helped with that. I generally avoid products like this. They are almost waxy on my skin, and I cannot get the reside off unless I wash it off with soap, defeating its entire purpose anyway. I have found lotion better for what I am discovering is my quite temperamental skin.
“Jelly of the Month Club” Whipped Cream
It's the gift that keeps on giving…
I'm trying so hard not to be bitter about this one. The recipient has a chance of getting one of four scents, and of the four scents, I managed to get the ONLY one with vanilla in it! Bah! Strawberries, vanilla sugar, sticky syrup, and a squeeze of orange. You could smell the strawberry as soon as you open the jar. The sugar wasn't as overwhelming as I expected. There was something sharp in it, which could have been the citrus, but there was an almost underlying vegetal smell. The Husband and I wracked our brains on this one for awhile. He started by saying “generic berry,” until he finally looked at me and exclaimed, “Crappy fake strawberry bubble gum!” I stared at him for a little, thought about it hard, and exclaimed back, “Oh my god! It totally does!”
This whipped cream had the same consistency of previously reviewed FCS whipped cream. It was very dense, and a little can go a long way. I only use their product on my hands- there is a science to putting it on my legs. Not enough rubbing and it doesn't absorb, too much and it flakes off my skin. Too much of a headache for the number of lotions that I own.
“I Pledge Allegiance, Amen!” Shower Steamer
They want you to say the damn grace…!
My granny is at this age. She needs hearing aids, but hates wearing them at home. Ensue hilarious miscommunications involving life, dinner, cooking schedules, and what is the dog doing on the floor.
I sent The Husband into the shower with this one while I sat out on the bathroom counter and chatted with him. Almost immediately, I heard, “Wow! I can really smell it! Very menthol.” He said it almost smelled like a chlorine tablet, helping him breathe better, but not quite sinus clearing. As it progressed, he noticed something that smelled like something we cook with a lot – which has to be rosemary or thyme. We both agreed on thyme after I shoved my head around the shower curtain to give it a good long sniff and leer at him.
Between the mint and thyme, he believed those were what caused the “pleasant chlorine” smell. About two-thirds of the way through the steamer, I could smell it steadily outside of the shower, as opposed to just whiffs of it. You could easily take a healthy length shower before you ran out of tablet. The Husband also recognized how this could work as a holiday-scented item, especially with a bunch of other Christmas type things going on around you.
“Fried Pussycat” Whipped Soap
Because who doesn't want to smell like fried pussycat!
That poor cat. “That thing had nine lives, and you just spent ‘em all.”
There was almost no scent left on my skin after washing. I wracked my brain for how this smelled, and I couldn't remember anything. So I went back and sniffed the jar for awhile. The best I came up with was “nonspecific sweet.” It should smell like plum, whipped caramel, bourbon vanilla, and jasmine blossoms. The best I could do though was something sweet – nothing really stood out, and it wasn't very memorable.
This jar was not nearly as full as the other jars – maybe about half to two-thirds full. Being a brand new product for them, it was a pretty good formula. It was not quite as fluffy as Solstice Scents, but was closer in consistency to S.S. than Haus of Gloi or Purple Cat Creatives. This whipped soap built up thicker than Solstice Scents and did not fizz but was otherwise identical (which, I realize, is not all that identical).
~~~~
Pictured in the group photos but not reviewed was the “Christmas Bonus” Deep Conditioner, part of their annual mystery fragrance contest. I will not be helping the competition! Honestly, I'm not doing it at all, but I know as much as anyone else, so we'll leave it at that.
Be sure to catch the live Winter Launch Party on November 21st if you're looking to pick up some of these products. The launch starts at 6:30 pm CDT on their Facebook page, which will have a link to their live video viewing.
Fortune Cookie Soap's Winter 2014 Soap Box
“Old Fashioned Family Christmas”
The Holiday Season has begun! With so many companies releasing their holiday fare, it's time to review it! So, I'm starting with Fortune Cookie's Winter Soap Box. Based on the ridiculously well known National Lampoon's Christmas Vacation, each scent is named after a themed moment from the film. I'm sure most of you are at least marginally familiar with this family cult classic. Some of you might be more in my vein, though, and have seen this movie and A Christmas Story every year at least once since you were old enough to understand you shouldn't repeat some words they say. Goodness knows, almost every product title had me shaking my head in disbelief or repeating the scenes in which these played out. So, let's just slide off the roof and light up this review so bright the neighbors keeping turning it off!
 |
| The Product Spread |
Disclaimer: I pretty much hate the smell of vanilla. Like HATE, abhor, find it deplorable. So you'll find peppered through here thoughts from The Husband, who claims to be more objective than I when it comes to vanilla. I'll let you make your own decisions on objectivity.
“Moose Mug” Cuticle Butter
“Can I refill your egg nog…?”
Ahhhhh those relatives everyone loves to hate and wishes would just maybe haul out a little sooner than they ever do. This cuticle butter is devoted to you! Notes of cream, egg, and just a little nutmeg – the perfect eggnog recipe. I could smell spice, vanilla, and a hint of something that smelled a little like plastic? The Husband said this smelled “like a cheap vanilla perfume.”
On its usability, it does take a fair amount of time to soak in. You can see in the photo the little bit I scraped out and was able to cover all cuticle beds and almost the whole nail with a touch leftover. This is definitely a lasting product. It took about an hour for it all to absorb, and I spent that time waving them around and trying not to get the butter all over my computer keyboard.
“Mele Kelekimaka” OCD Hand Sanitizer
With visions of swimming pools dancing in your head
This was always a weird scene in the movie to me. The random Hawaiian woman diving into his make-believe backyard pool always struck me as odd. And the smell associated with this hand sanitizer was equally confounding! The leaflet says it uses tropical spiced rum, Tahitian vanilla, sprinkled with jasmine petals and twisted woods. When it first began to dry on my hands, I would say I could smell coconut. There was definitely a rum smell, but otherwise, I would term this as “muddled tropical something.” Not quite woody, not quite vanilla, definitely island-y, but otherwise unidentifiable. When I thrust my hands at The Husband to smell, he just looked at me, stared, puzzled at me for awhile before shrugging and turning away.
“Tis the Season to be Mary” Fortune Cookie Soap
Buy this for your wife…God rest her soul.
I honestly can't remember this scene very clearly, so I'm sorry but no witty remark. My soap from the last Soap Box was not quite dried out, so after a couple of uses, it folded in on itself and is now a lump of soap. This one felt much drier. Maybe they weren't quite so rushed. There is a bit of shimmer in this cherry red soap, but does not cover your hands like last month's soap. It smelled simultaneously clean and a bit grungy. There was not really a sweet smell from the almond, but there was almost a “dirty” smell from the tobacco. Overall, it seemed almost neutral in design. The Husband just called it “clean.”
“Sparky” Hydrate Me
We dedicate this to the FCS Family Christmas, drumroll please!
 |
| This is a light bulb, not a fish. |
Hydrate Me is to FCS as Shower Smoothie is to LUSH. Used after soaping and rinsing, you rub it all over, let it sit on your skin for awhile then rise it off. It has enough moisture that you don't need to lotion after a shower if you're in a rush. (Honestly, who still lotions every time they get out of the shower? I'm lucky if I remembered to lotion my legs after I shaved them.) For the sake of visual in the picture, I rubbed in more than necessary so you could see it on my skin. Luckily the iridescence of the bulb helped with that. I generally avoid products like this. They are almost waxy on my skin, and I cannot get the reside off unless I wash it off with soap, defeating its entire purpose anyway. I have found lotion better for what I am discovering is my quite temperamental skin.
“Jelly of the Month Club” Whipped Cream
It's the gift that keeps on giving…
I'm trying so hard not to be bitter about this one. The recipient has a chance of getting one of four scents, and of the four scents, I managed to get the ONLY one with vanilla in it! Bah! Strawberries, vanilla sugar, sticky syrup, and a squeeze of orange. You could smell the strawberry as soon as you open the jar. The sugar wasn't as overwhelming as I expected. There was something sharp in it, which could have been the citrus, but there was an almost underlying vegetal smell. The Husband and I wracked our brains on this one for awhile. He started by saying “generic berry,” until he finally looked at me and exclaimed, “Crappy fake strawberry bubble gum!” I stared at him for a little, thought about it hard, and exclaimed back, “Oh my god! It totally does!”
This whipped cream had the same consistency of previously reviewed FCS whipped cream. It was very dense, and a little can go a long way. I only use their product on my hands- there is a science to putting it on my legs. Not enough rubbing and it doesn't absorb, too much and it flakes off my skin. Too much of a headache for the number of lotions that I own.
“I Pledge Allegiance, Amen!” Shower Steamer
They want you to say the damn grace…!
My granny is at this age. She needs hearing aids, but hates wearing them at home. Ensue hilarious miscommunications involving life, dinner, cooking schedules, and what is the dog doing on the floor.
I sent The Husband into the shower with this one while I sat out on the bathroom counter and chatted with him. Almost immediately, I heard, “Wow! I can really smell it! Very menthol.” He said it almost smelled like a chlorine tablet, helping him breathe better, but not quite sinus clearing. As it progressed, he noticed something that smelled like something we cook with a lot – which has to be rosemary or thyme. We both agreed on thyme after I shoved my head around the shower curtain to give it a good long sniff and leer at him.
Between the mint and thyme, he believed those were what caused the “pleasant chlorine” smell. About two-thirds of the way through the steamer, I could smell it steadily outside of the shower, as opposed to just whiffs of it. You could easily take a healthy length shower before you ran out of tablet. The Husband also recognized how this could work as a holiday-scented item, especially with a bunch of other Christmas type things going on around you.
“Fried Pussycat” Whipped Soap
Because who doesn't want to smell like fried pussycat!
That poor cat. “That thing had nine lives, and you just spent ‘em all.”
There was almost no scent left on my skin after washing. I wracked my brain for how this smelled, and I couldn't remember anything. So I went back and sniffed the jar for awhile. The best I came up with was “nonspecific sweet.” It should smell like plum, whipped caramel, bourbon vanilla, and jasmine blossoms. The best I could do though was something sweet – nothing really stood out, and it wasn't very memorable.
This jar was not nearly as full as the other jars – maybe about half to two-thirds full. Being a brand new product for them, it was a pretty good formula. It was not quite as fluffy as Solstice Scents, but was closer in consistency to S.S. than Haus of Gloi or Purple Cat Creatives. This whipped soap built up thicker than Solstice Scents and did not fizz but was otherwise identical (which, I realize, is not all that identical).
~~~~
Pictured in the group photos but not reviewed was the “Christmas Bonus” Deep Conditioner, part of their annual mystery fragrance contest. I will not be helping the competition! Honestly, I'm not doing it at all, but I know as much as anyone else, so we'll leave it at that.
Be sure to catch the live Winter Launch Party on November 21st if you're looking to pick up some of these products. The launch starts at 6:30 pm CDT on their Facebook page, which will have a link to their live video viewing.
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