Sunday, September 14, 2014

By Unknown
Purchased


Fortune Cookie Soap’s 2014 Fall Soap Box “Witch, Please!”

So, we have FCS’s Fall Box, and so soon after their summer box review! It seems almost a shame to run them so close together, but there it is. Partially because by the time this review is posted, all of these items and more will be on their website for sale, and also because I think it’s time I be less optimistic and kind.

This box is a mash-up of “The Wizard of Oz,” and everyone’s favorite Tony award winning musical, “Wicked.” If you have no idea what Wicked is, I would strongly suggest going on YouTube and at least listening to “Dancing Through Life” and “Popular.” Both are referenced as naming conventions for some of these products. It also veers away from both of these to make a random pop culture reference, so maybe not quite on key.

We are going to run this review from “Oooh! I love this!” to “What the hell!? Why am I still smelling this damn thing?! Oh right, ‘cuz I have to tell you (the reader) why I think it’s awful.” Also - I totally deleted a rant about naming conventions and pop culture references where there didn't need to be any. Be thankful, be very thankful.


So- “Ooh! I love this!”

“There’s No Place Like Home” 
Fortune Cookie Soap



“Curled Macintosh apple peels lovingly kissed with a hint of cinnamon, allspice, and clove…” Apples! Apples, apples, apples. Lots of apples. So many apples. Have I mentioned I love the smell of apples in the Fall? And Glitter! So much red glitter! All over my hands! Except the water washes it right off. Sad face for me. Maybe not for you. But I love glitter. This crazy amount of squee-ing is pretty close to how I feel. I started making excuses to wash my hands twenty times a day when I got this soap. It smells so wonderful. I can’t say I smell the spices, but I smell the apples, and I love it! I love it so much!

Purchase Link

“The Shiz” 
Perfume Oil

I am probably not qualified to review perfumes. Apparently my nose can’t pick up the more subtle smells. I should have given this to one of our amazing perfume reviewers to tell you all about its top notes, middle notes, and high notes, but I’m not giving it up. I love the smell of woods. Fall is very obviously pretty much my favorite thing ever. And winter. All those yummy darker, more masculine smells- I adore them. The pamphlet says, “damp balsam woods, with top notes of maple leaves blowing through new dawn blossom, laurel and sweet clove.” It’s lovingly woody with just a hint of something sweet and a little spicy, which is probably the sweet clove. It doesn't last very long on me, which could be because I can’t figure out how to use bottles like these. I grew up on atomizers, not dabbing the oil straight onto my skin. I might not be using enough compared to how I use my atomizer perfumes.

Purchase Link

And now for the somewhere in between…

“Miss Popular”
Bubble Bath Powder

This is NOT a Fall scent. I repeat, this is NOT a Fall scent. That does not mean it is not lovely. But there is nothing about this that makes me think Autumn. It is, however, exactly what I would expect to smell on Galinda (Her name doesn't become Glinda until Act 2.) A great comparison would be rolling in a field of sugar-encrusted violets. It is flowery and sweet. This is not in the somewhere in between because of the smell. I loved the smell, and I might even buy another one when they come online because I loved it so much. There’s even a hint of iridescent glitter to match the color of the bubble powder.

Here’s the downside- it neither dissolved nor created bubbles. It just floated in the water and stuck to my skin. I ran it under running water, as opposed to still in hopes to dissolve it and mix it up. No dice. Because it didn't dissolve is probably why the smell was so strong and noticeable. I had to shower afterwards to get all the particles off of me.

Not Listed For Sale

"Roy G. Biv" 
OCD Hand Sanitizer


I’m really on the fence with this one. The first time I used it, I smelled something citrusy and fruity. The second time I used it all I smelled was fresh laundry. It claims to have wind-blown leaves and charred woods in it. There is something of a leafy scent; I would say more alive than dead, but I do not smell woods at all. It’s a nice smell- it just smells like clean laundry, not “citrus and florals against a cool, Fall background.”

Purchase Link

“Wicked, Good” 
Whipped Cream


There were four options of whipped cream to receive in your box- “BFFs,” “Green is the New Black” (Seriously!?), “No Good Deed,” and “Wicked, Good.” Obviously, I received “Wicked, Good.”
“Top notes of orange, apple, pear, pineapple and cherries lured into autumn by pumpkin, cinnamon, nutmeg and clove, all rounded out with warm vanilla-infused sugar.” 
What is it with people ruining good smells with vanilla and sugar? Trying to smell this straight out of the jar was just overwhelming in its sugary, baked good smell.  I wasn't much of a fan the first time I put it on either. On top of the hand sanitizer, the vanilla sugar was less impactful. There is definitely something Autumn-like to it. Spicy, not just fruity. I cannot find the top notes though. It might be the clove, but there is almost something familiar to the smell that is sitting just out of reach for me.

Purchase Link

And now for my “Please never again”

“Swankified” 
Walnut Facial Scrub


Blech! “Bananas, sugary cake batter, and walnuts…” Let’s leave the baked goods smell to baked goods, especially when it’s going on my face. There was so much odor! And on my face, to boot! I was a big fan of the Candy Box’s facial scrub. I started using it to exfoliate when I felt my daily cleanser wasn't doing the job. But this one? No thank you. Not only does this one have a very strong smell, I have been changing my daily skincare products out over the past couple months, and it has given me more sensitive skin than I am used to. This scrub was almost painful to use. It was way too abrasive for me. I will not be using it ever again.

Purchase Link

“Hair Flip” 
Hair Oil

This one just started out on my bad side. I have very fine hair. Very, very fine hair. I’m fortunate that I have a lot of it, but I can’t use oil-based hair products at all. My naturally oily scalp and fine hair are going to look like I haven’t washed my hair in a week if I use it.


So, I made my roommate let me put it in her hair.


As you can see in the pictures above, she has glorious thick, red hair. Feel free to tell her it’s a travesty that she continually cuts it so short. Most people do. Also- tell her to put black lowlights back in. It amuses me.

It is supposed to smell like hazelnut and vanilla. It smells like burnt caramel to me. Roommate said it didn't bother her too much and she “kinda liked it.” She did have to deal with the smell a lot longer than I did. The instructions say to use 1-2 drops of oil. I used 9, and I don’t see a ton of difference, which could just be because she has healthy hair that doesn't need fixing. It did smooth her hair out though, which could have been the oil or the amount of time with it I played. It’s great if you want to perfume your hair and like that kind of smell, but the group of people that can use a product like this is pretty narrow, at least from my point of view of being completely incapable.

Purchase Link

“Flying Monkeys” 
Personal Space Air Freshener

This one has more to do with use than smell. It’s a lovely smell for a young girl. It’s fruity and light and sweet, and my niece will love to spray this all over her room when she receives it in a box of girly stuff I’m sending her soon. I sprayed this around my desk space twice, figuring I would just kind of sit in the smell while I was on my computer and see how I felt about it over time. I never smelled it. Not once. Not a hint. Sprayed it, put it away, came back, no smell. There was nothing. The second time, I completely forgot I was supposed to be deciding how I felt about anything because there was no smell at all.

So, I decided I’d try it as a body spray. It’s concentrated room spray (yes I know, a little weird), so I can spray myself a time or two and there we go. Nope, smelled nothing. So finally, at my wit’s end, I doused my arm with it. Couldn't get away from the smell then. It was overpowering. I sneezed no less than five in the less than 10 minutes I had it on my arm, in an effort to smell it.  It’s a great smell, but I either couldn't smell it at all or had too use way to much to be able to smell it.

Purchase Link

A Special Thanks to The Roommate for letting me cover her hair in oil and take photographs right before she went to work, and a Special Thanks to The Husband who takes all photographs where my hands are visible. Yay black nail polish for a witch-themed box. You two make my world go round.

1 comments:

  1. The fortune cookie soap looks amazing! Itching to get my hands on one hehe

    ReplyDelete